The ball is slowly rolling

We're slowly starting to get the ball rolling on prepping for our embryo transfer in December. I have my SHG (sonohysterogram aka saline ultrasound) scheduled for Monday, September 12th at 10:45 and that's to see if I have any polyps or fibroids in my uterus which could affect our embryo(s) from implanting. We're going to transfer two embryos this go around in hopes that one takes and if both implant.... Then I might lose my shit. But, it's a chance were willing to take. 3 babies under 2? Piece of cake! 

So we're doing the SHG early because if I do have any fibroids or polyps, I'll need to have them removed and heal completely before doing the transfer. Fingers crossed that my oven is still good after having Caleb since I didn't have any polyps or fibroids going into our last transfers. 

After the SHG, I'll update more about how it went and what the next steps are in the process. 

Alissha 

Baby #2?!!

Chris and I have always agreed we'd like our children to be close in age, but how close has always been up in the air.  My goal was to breastfeed Caleb a year and I knew I didn't want to cut that short to undergo another embryo transfer.  As Caleb's first birthday approached and I reached my 1 year goal of breastfeeding, we talked about when we would like to do another embryo transfer and January 2017 sounded like a good time.

On July 21st, Chris and I had a consultation with our fertility doctor to discuss a frozen embryo transfer. We talked about the 3 embryos we still had frozen from my retrieval in July 2014 and which ones our Doctor thought we should transfer. I initially only wanted to transfer one embryo because the thought of having twins after having one baby makes me a bit anxious; but, our two better quality embryos are frozen together and to re-freeze an embryo "would be a lot to ask of an embryo" according to our Doctor. 

So, the way our 3 embryos are graded are 4BC, 3BB and 3BB.  The number represents the size of the embryo. They're ranked 1-6 and optimal size is 3-5. The first letter represents the quality of the cells that make the baby and the second letter represents the quality of the cells that make the placenta. A is excellent, B is very good/good, C is poor/fair. So, based on this our better embryos are the 3BB's. Once the embryos are thawed, about 18 hours before the transfer, they can continue to improve in quality which is exactly what the embryos we transferred to conceive Caleb did.  Embryos can stop expanding and developing during the thaw and not survive, but the current thaw survival rate per embryo is 95%. Our two embryos we transferred when we conceived Caleb thawed perfectly and had no problems, so we're hopeful we won't have any issues. 

Our Doctor told us we could do the transfer in 6 weeks if we wanted to, but that's a bit too soon for us. We talked about time lines and have agreed on a transfer some time in late November/early December. I need to have a saline ultrasound done in September to make sure I don't have any fibroids of polyps in my uterus first and if all goes well with that, we'll move forward with the transfer. 

As we get closer to September and scheduling the saline ultrasound, I'll update more.  I want to document our journey for baby #2 just like I did with Caleb and I plan to be an open book. Some day I hope our children will read all my blog entries and know how loved and wanted they were and are. I have a lot of mixed emotions as we embark on this next step in our lives, but more than anything my heart explodes any time I think about Caleb being a big brother.  

Alissha 

Happy Birthday Caleb!

Caleb,

My sweet baby boy, you're officially considered a toddler now that you're 1 year old. This year has gone by extremely fast and I am amazed at how much you've grown and developed. You no longer look like a baby, but a little boy. You are quite opinionated and know exactly what you want and don't want. You are still pointing at everything you see and we do our best to describe everything you point at. You love to point at lights, fans, your books and airplanes in the sky. When you point at something, you do it with such determination and force. 

You love to sit on our laps while we read you books.... Just another sign that you're growing up. You love to push your cars around the house and get into everything. We finally safety proofed the kitchen cabinets because you were pulling everything out of them. You love to go into the pantry and shut the door behind you. When I try to open it, you shut it again and think it's the greatest thing ever. You know exactly where your snacks are in the pantry and like to pull them off the shelf. Your appetite is still never ending and you absolutely love to eat. I'm a bit worried about our grocery bill when you become a teenager! 

Even though you love to eat and eat nearly any and everything we give you, you've turned into a little string bean! Your rolls are nearly gone and you've thinned out so much. At your 1 year check up, you were in the 20th percentile for weight! You were such a chunky baby and always above the 50th percentile in weight. We shouldn't be too surprised though because your dad and I were the tall lanky kids in school! You're in the 50th percentile for height and we'll be shocked if you're not tall like we are. Your dad and I hit our growth spurts in middle school and the first year of high school, so just wait if you're the short one in elementary school. You'll shoot up like a weed and I'm sure get plenty of growing pains like we did. 

You're saying "Mom", "Momma", "Dad", "Dada", "Meow" and "Oof" (Woof for dog). When we ask you what a cat or dog says, you're quick to say "Meow" or "Oof Oof". It's the cutest thing ever. You also say "Mmmm" while eating or see something you like to eat. We're working on teaching you different body parts and so far every time we ask you where your nose is, you point to your head. Close enough! Your comprehension is amazing and you are so smart. When we tell you to drink some milk or water, you grab your sippy and take a drink. When we ask you to put it back where it goes on your tray, you know exactly where to put it. If we ask you to give us something, you do.... For the most part. You find any and everything on the floor and pick it up with your hands. If I don't catch you soon enough, you put whatever it is in your mouth. You love to give kisses and they're wide open mouth kisses. We're still working on giving kisses with your mouth closed ; ) 

Your birthday party was great. It was Dr. Seuss theme and I made snacks/treats that were related to various Dr. Seuss books. We had a taco man serve tacos, a bouncer for the bigger kids and a kiddie pool because it was hot! We had about 60 adults and 20 kids come to your party! You are loved my sweet boy. You received plenty of toys and cute outfits. You sat on our laps or on the floor the whole time we opened presents and you did your best to help. You absolutely LOVED your birthday cake and would have eaten the whole thing if we didn't take it away from you. I was a little worried you would get a tummy ache from all the sugar. Your love for sweets runs deep and you are definitely your father's son! 

I started weaning you from breastfeeding a few days after your first birthday party. We started with your typical afternoon nursing session and replaced it with a sippy of whole milk. You had no problem drinking whole milk and did so well without nursing. You amazed us at how well you adjusted, so a week after we cut out your afternoon nursing, we cut out your morning one and are doing even better with that. You love to eat, so it makes it really easy to distract you from nursing. We'll cut out your bedtime nursing next and then the nighttime ones. We think weaning you at nighttime will be the hardest because it's all about comfort for you. Half the time you're not hungry, but will comfort nurse and go back to sleep. 

It makes me sad to know our breastfeeding journey is coming to an end, but I am so proud of us for making it to a year. We pushed through some hard times in the beginning and long days and nights of nursing, but it was all worth it. I know I gave you the absolute best your first year of life and would do it all over again. 

Caleb, I hope you always know how much I love you and how special you are to me. For so many years I dreamt of you and imagined what it would be like to feel you move in my belly, hold you for the first time and watch you grow. You have made my dream come true and I am so incredibly proud to be your mommy. I will always support you, encourage you and be there to listen to you. Never be afraid to come to me when times get rough or you just need someone to talk to. I will ALWAYS be there for you my sweet boy. You will always hold a special place in my heart 💙 

I love you,

Momma

11 Months

Caleb,

I can't believe in just one short month you'll be a 1 year old. Time has gone by so fast and you continue to amaze us with your new skills and abilities. 

You're crawling so fast these days and you'll get on all fours when you start crawling on anything other than carpet. You look like a little stink bug! You haven't taken any steps on your own yet and seem perfectly content with crawling. You started cruising along furniture though and when we hold your arms, you walk like no ones business. 

You finally met your Great Grandpa Bleskey this month.  After several months of trying to figure out when the best time to make the trip was, we finally got the perfect opportunity Memorial Day weekend. You loved meeting him and he was so thrilled to meet you and hold you. We look forward to our next trip to Northern California so we can spend more time with him. You used a straw for the first time while we were at Uncle Scott and Aunt Tiffany's house for a BBQ, but haven't done it since.  

You're such a great eater and eat almost anything and everything we give you. You're eating on your own now, with your hands, and seem to have a never ending appetite. You don't like honeydew melon or celery sticks though. You act like I'm poisoning you when I try to get you to eat either one. Some of your favorite foods are avocado, watermelon, beans of any kind, peas, green beans and chicken. I 

You're all about your pointer finger these days and pointing at everything. I discovered that you're ticklish on the bottoms of your feet and on your sides. You think it's so funny when we play "This little piggy" with your toes.  You also started initiating "Peekaboo" this month and when we say, "Where's Caleb?" You'll do your best to cover your eyes (although sometimes you just cover your ears) with your hands and then when you pull your hands down we say "Peekaboo! There he is!" You think it's great and can play this game over and over again. 

You're still as vocal as ever and started making funny noises with your tongue while talking. It's the greatest thing ever. We're pretty sure you've said "dog" a couple of times too. 

You're getting extremely squirmy when we change your diaper and try to get your dressed; although you do help by pushing your arms through your sleeves and kicking your legs up to get your socks on. Oh, and you don't like wearing socks. Any opportunity you get, you pull them off. You think it's so funny when we sniff your feet and say, "Oh stinky!!" 

Your dad and I got mountain bikes and a trailer for you to sit in while we ride. Our first outing was to Diamond Valley Lake in Hemet and we're thankful you won't remember that experience. We were feeling pretty ambitious and decided to do the whole 22.8 miles! You on the other hand, were over it after a few miles. We didn't realize until about half way through that you were bumping your head on the cooler we had behind your seat in the trailer. We felt awful and even after we moved the cooler, you didn't like the ride. It was pretty hot and there wasn't any shade on the rocky bike trail. Needless to say, we won't be doing that ride again. While we were in Northern California visiting grandpa, we went on a bike ride and you enjoyed it so much better. You even fell asleep towards the end of the ride. We look forward to more bike rides.... On smooth paths of course.... Without anything behind your seat for you to bump your head on ; ) 

One of your biggest milestones this month is finally falling asleep on your own without nursing or being rocked AND napping in your crib! Finally. You weren't napping well any more while I was holding you and it was just time to start getting you in your crib for naps. I wasn't ready for you to nap on your own, in your crib before. I wasn't ready to listen to you cry and fuss and have some hard days of no naps or little naps.  Much to my surprise, you transitioned really well. You did cry and I let you, but would check on you every few minutes to reassure you that you were okay. After doing this once, maybe twice, you got the hang of it and have been napping so well in your crib. You go down for your first nap about 2 hours after waking up and then go down for your second nap about 3 hours after waking up from your first nap. At night we'll read you a book and then lay you down and you typically fall asleep within 10 minutes.  It's been absolutely amazing. I have so enjoyed having time to myself and to get things done while you nap and spending some time with your dad in the evenings. 

Caleb, you're growing up so very fast and while I wish time would slow down, I love watching you grow, learn, explore and mature. You make me so proud to be your mom. You're such a good baby and light up everyone's day when they're around you. 

I love you turkey butt,

Momma

10 Months

Caleb, 

I thought last month you were going through so much developmentally, but this month you've just exploded with new skills! You said your first word! We were sitting in the living room playing and I said, "Caleb say Momma" and you said, "Mmm momma" and haven't stopped since! You are so incredibly smart! The next day we were coming back from Grandma and Grandpa Benson's house and you said "Dada" You'll say Dada, but not nearly as much as you say Momma. I love it and it melts my heart.

You're officially mobile and started crawling everywhere! You love exploring everything around you and you're definitely keeping me on my toes. You can push yourself into a sitting position from crawling and are getting better control of your body. You love crawling over to the sliding glass door and watching the dogs outside. You can pull yourself to standing using anything in your reach and love to let go when we help you stand. You can balance freely for quite a while and you love when you fall forward or backward and we're there to catch you. We lowered your crib this month too so you don't try to climb out. You are so determined to stand on your own and if you could, you'd stand all day long and practice balancing. 

You cut two new teeth this month! Both of your top lateral incisors cut through and you're right central incisor is working on cutting through. Overall, you're a pretty good teether. You have your moments where you're fussy, but I would be too if I was teething! 

You learned how to give high fives this month and are starting to understand basic questions.  If you're holding something and I say, "Give the ball/block/cup/etc to Mommy" you take whatever you're holding and put it in my hand.  You started mimicking what we're doing, like sticking out your tongue or making noises with your mouth. You can give kisses when asked, although you keep your mouth wide open and sometimes slip us your tongue! 

We flew to Texas this month to meet your cousin Gavin and spend time with your Uncle Greg and Aunt Danielle. While in Texas we went to the Dallas Zoo and got to hand feed carrots to giraffes! It was amazing, but you were a little unsure about it. We also experienced a pretty crazy storm the last night we were in Texas. You weren't phased one bit by the thunder or lightning.

You started sleeping a little better this month, usually only waking up once or twice most nights. I stopped nursing you to sleep at night because it was taking anywhere from an hour or two to get you down. You adjusted really well to this and now it only takes 20 minutes to get you down! We hope we can eventually lay you down awake in your crib and you'll fall asleep on your own. One thing at a time......

You absolutely love a Volvo commercial that's playing on TV right now.  Anytime it comes on and you hear the song, you stop what you're doing to watch.  I did some research and found out the woman singing is Audra Mae and the song is "Feeling Good" I'll play the song if you're fussy or crying and most of the time it does the trick to calm you down. 

I can't believe in just 2 short months we'll be celebrating your 1st birthday. Time is going by so fast and while I don't like that you're growing up so fast, I'm so excited for the adventures that are in store for us and watching your personality develop. I love you my sweet boy and tell you I do a thousand times a day. You bring so much joy to me and fill my soul. 

Momma

9 Months

Caleb,

You've been outside of my belly as long as you were in and it still blows my mind that I carried you in my womb for 9 months. You're getting so big and losing your babyness and becoming more of a little boy. You're wearing 9-12 month clothes and exploding with developmental milestones.  You're trying so incredibly hard to crawl and get frustrated when you get stuck and can't get to what you want. You do some sweet yoga moves in your attempts to crawl and always get in a plank/push-up position before you try to move forward.  You are such a squirmer.  When you want off our lap, you make every attempt possible to get off on your own.  Changing your diaper and putting clothes on you is becoming more difficult as you are easily distracted and can't lay still for long.  You've started pulling yourself up to standing all by yourself in the bathtub; it seems to be the easiest place for you to do it and you know mom and dad are right there to catch you if you slip. 

You're baby vocabulary is expanding every day and it really sounds like you're trying to communicate with us. The tone in your voice fluctuates and you love getting a reaction out of us. Your newest thing to do when it's quiet is yell "Ah ah ah ah!" We do it back to you and you think it's the greatest thing ever. You are such a social butterfly and love smiling at any and everything. People always stop to say hi to you and you love smiling back at them. So many people ask us if you're always this happy and for the most part, you really are. You have your moments, but we all do. You're such a joy to take out places because you always do so great.  You started to do the squinchy face smile all the time this month and it's the cheesiest smile ever. We love it. 

We're still breastfeeding and your attachment to the boob is getting stronger and stronger. Some days I can't wait for you to turn 1 so we can start weaning you, but other days I don't look forward to it at all because I know how hard of an adjustment it will be for you.  It's going to be hard on me too and some times I'm okay with weaning when you're ready.  This breastfeeding thing is truly a love hate relationship.  Lately you'll pop off the boob and then grab a hold of the nipple and play with it. You get mad when I cover it up so you can't play with it, but son, you're not the most gentle baby and don't know your own strength. You're nursing about 4 times during the day and anywhere from 2-3 times at night. You mostly get solids at night and have recently been introduced to blueberries and peaches. You like them both. You're still doing great with feeding yourself finger foods and are getting better at chewing. You've started spitting out your juice/water from your sippy cup and getting soaked. We have to limit your time with the sippy cup, otherwise you'd be a mess all the time. 

We started your second session of swim lessons and your new teacher is Jake. There are 3 moms/babies from our breastfeeding support group that started swim lessons as well, so it's a lot of fun to be with your friends. I love staying busy with you and doing new activities. We're getting out more and more to explore and you love it.  We went to the Carlsbad Flower Fields this month and it was beautiful. We took a lot of pictures and you loved being out and about. 

You're officially a big cousin! Your Uncle Greg and Aunt Danielle had their baby, Gavin Patrick, on March 28th! We are so excited to meet him and watch the two of you grow up together. We're going to fly to Texas this month to meet him and we can't wait. 

Caleb, I hope you always know how much I love you and will always be there for you. I tell you I love you a thousand times a day and love making you smile. You are my world and I've never smiled so much in my life since you've been born. You make me so proud and happy to call you my son. I love you turkey. 

Momma 

8 Months

Caleb,

This month you finally got your first two teeth! Your bottom left poked through first and then your bottom right came in about 2 weeks later. You ran a low fever for about 4 days and battled a cold while your first one came through, but handled your second one like a champ. You were still such a happy baby through it all. You've bitten me more times than I'd like while nursing, but I'm trying really hard to push through it and teach you it's not ok to bite mommy. I'm not looking forward to your top teeth coming in! You're such a good eater with solids and love every new food you get to try. You're perfecting the pincer grasp and we've let you feed yourself  puffs, yogurt bites, pieces of cheese, chicken, avocado and noodles. You seem to prefer picking things up with your left hand, although you do use your right hand/fingers sometimes.  You're starting to get the hang of using a sippy cup too! 

This month you finally rolled from back to belly and are scooting backwards. When we lay you down in your crib for naps and bedtime, you're quick to roll to your left side or onto your belly to sleep. You move all around in your crib and get frustrated when you can't roll onto your back after rolling from your tummy. Sleep is still pretty much the same. You are consistently inconsistent with your sleep at night. Some nights you only wake up twice and other nights you're up 4-5 times. It's exhausting, son, and I constantly have to remind myself that this is just a phase and this too shall pass. I'm trying to convince myself that you're waking up so much because you're just going through so many developmental milestones right now and possibly working on your next set of teeth. Your favorite place to nap is on me/the boob, but we've gotten lucky a few times this month with naps in your crib.

You started swim lessons at the Redlands YMCA every Tuesday and Thursday.  You're in the Shrimp/Kipper class with 2 other babies and your teacher's name is Megan.  We do a lot of floating and trying to get you to kick in the water, but for the most part you just like to chill in the water like a little sea otter and have mom or dad do all the work. 

You're making new sounds all the time and have started saying "dadadada." You love petting/grabbing our cats, Lilly and Romeo, and I think they like the attention they get from you. We're trying to teach you to be gentle and not pull on their fur/ears/tail. You've developed a fear of beards and facial hair this month and cry almost every time you see a man with facial hair. It's the saddest thing ever. You're starting to reach for us when we go to pick you up and you love when we FaceTime your dad when he's working. 

I'm loving this stage that you're in.  You're so much fun and you're becoming more independent every day.  There's no doubt you love me and your dad. You light up when you see us and it's the best feeling in the world seeing you smile back at us. I can't believe you've been in this world almost as long as you were in my belly. Time is going by way too fast my love and I'm trying to enjoy every minute! I love you my little turkey! 

Momma