SHG & Thoughts on baby #2

On Monday, I had my SHG done and although I've been through it before and knew what to expect I was still nervous. Nervous to be starting this process again and nervous of the unknown. Thankfully my uterus is in perfect condition for our embryo(s) to implant and I don't have any scar tissue, fibroids or polyps. We got the blessing to move forward with a frozen transfer in December. The next step is calling the office when we're ready for me to get on birth control and start the process. 

I'm excited, nervous and anxious about having another baby. I'm sure most moms struggle with the same feelings I have.  When I think about every thing Chris and I went through to have Caleb and how much Caleb means to us, I get choked up and super emotional. For 4 years Chris and I dreamed of having a baby, for 4 years we dreamed of having a baby boy and naming him Caleb, over 4 years we experienced the worst heartache, devastation and emotional roller coaster any couple can go through. 

We went through A LOT on our journey to get pregnant and when we finally got pregnant through IVF, we felt like we could breathe again. That it was all going to be okay. When we found out we were expecting a baby boy at 16 weeks and we were finally going to have Caleb here with us, our hearts exploded. Our prayers and dreams came true. When Caleb was born, I had this instant connection with him, like many moms have with their newborns, and knew he would always have a special place in my heart. Words cannot express how much I love him and how much he means to me. Caleb made me a mom. Something I dreamed of since I was a little girl. 

So, naturally I worry about loving another baby as much as I love Caleb. I know it's possible and I know I'll fall in love with another baby just like I have with Caleb. I worry about our next baby feeling just as loved and wanted as Caleb. I never want him or her to feel like inferior to Caleb. And on the flip side, I worry about Caleb getting enough attention from me when we have another baby. I don't want him to feel like he was put on the back burner or that he was replaced. There's a lot of emotions that come with having another baby and I know all will be okay when he or she is born and were a family of four.... I might just be an emotional mess during the process! 

Alissha

The ball is slowly rolling

We're slowly starting to get the ball rolling on prepping for our embryo transfer in December. I have my SHG (sonohysterogram aka saline ultrasound) scheduled for Monday, September 12th at 10:45 and that's to see if I have any polyps or fibroids in my uterus which could affect our embryo(s) from implanting. We're going to transfer two embryos this go around in hopes that one takes and if both implant.... Then I might lose my shit. But, it's a chance were willing to take. 3 babies under 2? Piece of cake! 

So we're doing the SHG early because if I do have any fibroids or polyps, I'll need to have them removed and heal completely before doing the transfer. Fingers crossed that my oven is still good after having Caleb since I didn't have any polyps or fibroids going into our last transfers. 

After the SHG, I'll update more about how it went and what the next steps are in the process. 

Alissha