I've had a lot of people ask me how we're doing and what's in store for us on our journey to baby #2, so I wanted to do an update.
First off, I'm okay. We're okay. Chris and I handled this last loss a little differently, but still experienced the same hurt. What hurt the most for me was knowing we transferred two embryos and they didn't take/continue to develop after going through the whole process and having Caleb. Knowing what they could have been hurts the most. To me, those were our babies. They were life and capable of amazing things. I know we'll have another baby some day, I have no doubt in my mind. Just not right now and that's ok. I find peace in Caleb and knowing that everything happens for a reason.
When we did our fresh IVF cycle 2 1/2 years ago (ovarian stimulation, egg retrieval, fertilization, etc) we were really hoping our babies would be in that cycle. If we would have known going into the whole process that only one of our 7 embryos would result in a baby, I would have still gone through everything. Caleb is nothing short of amazing and is such a loving, caring, sweet, incredibly smart, handsome toddler. I am so so so grateful for him. I know he will be an amazing big brother some day.
Yesterday we met with our fertility doctor to discuss our last transfer and our future. He said it's most likely that our embryos were chromosomally abnormal and that's why they didn't take/continue to develop. He said my uterine lining was great and doesn't think that's the issue. When we did our fresh cycle, we didn't test any of our embryos for genetic abnormalities since neither one of us have any known genetic issues in our families.
Prior to doing IVF, you have to do several labs to test hormones, thyroid, ovarian reserve, etc. When I did my initial labs, my ovarian reserve was considered "normal", but on the border of being low. Ovarian reserve gives an indication of how many eggs are in your ovaries. When I took all the medication to stimulate my ovaries I responded ok but my doctor was expecting me to have more eggs, given my age. Now, 2 1/2 years later my doctor is a little concerned about my ovarian reserve and wants me to do some testing to see where it's at now.
He's recommending we do a fresh IVF cycle and do genetic testing on the embryos we end up with to rule out any genetic issues. Transferring a genetically normal embryo has a success rate of about 70% versus 50% for an embryo that hasn't been screened. And it costs additional money. A significant amount of money. We have one frozen embryo left, but it's not the best quality and we're not willing to go through the emotional/financial stress of it not working out right now.
He recommended we take some supplements to help our fertility and ultimately said we could start again after my next cycle. However, we are on one income. Since quitting my job to stay home with Caleb, we have done ok financially and I feel extremely fortunate that we are able to live on one income. But, we definitely do not have extra money laying around and we had to charge our last transfer. Our insurance didn't cover any of our transfer (or any of our past fertility treatments) and very very little of the medication. Chris and I do not like having credit card debt hanging over our heads and we've always been very conscious how we spend our money and paying off our credit cards.
So, at this moment our goal is to pay off our credit cards and save as much as possible for a fresh cycle. This won't happen in the next month or 6 months. We're looking at doing another cycle some time in 2018 and that's ok. We would love for our children to be closer in age, but I'm totally okay with enjoying Caleb just a little longer as our only baby. We'll also continue to pray we get pregnant naturally because hey.... miracles happen every day.
Alissha
