Ready to try again....

I haven't blogged the last week or so because I haven't had much to write about and to be completely honest, no one would have wanted to read about how I was feeling. My emotions were all over the place and I was hurting, bad. I've tried keeping busy and not dwelling on our last cycle. I know there was nothing I or Chris could have done to change what happened. It just wasn't meant to be. 

We had a mini vacation to Arizona to visit my mom and step dad planned prior to our IVF cycle and it just so happened to be the weekend after we found out I had a chemical pregnancy. I had planned on celebrating that weekend and talking about how lucky we were to have IVF work the first time and how my due date would have been on Chris' birthday. But instead, we cried and spent that weekend hurting. We thought about not going to Arizona, but knew it would be good for us to not just stay home and cry 24/7. We still spent quite a bit of time alone though and tried to enjoy ourselves as much as we could. It was just bad timing. 

Work has been busy the last couple of weeks and I am slightly thankful for that. It's kept my mind busy. We saw Chris' crush, Sara Evans, in concert Friday night and went to a pretty awesome wedding last night, where we had way too much fun and drank way too much. I think we needed that though. We were way overdue for a good time! 

Since Arizona, things have gotten easier. It still hurts, but not as much. After we met with Dr. Norian the last time it was hard for me to be excited about our next cycle. I didn't want to have another cycle. I didn't want to go through this again. I didn't want to get my hopes up and then be crushed again. But, here we are... about two weeks away from starting our frozen cycle and I am getting excited again. I am becoming more optimistic every day and hopeful it will work for us. I can't wait for our embryo transfer and to have that feeling again. I want to be pregnant until proven otherwise and see our babies on an ultrasound. Yes, babies. I'm convinced we're going to have twins. Plus, our friends adorable son who just turned two told us were having two babies so that's all the confirmation I need ; ) 

Alissha