Trying to stay positive...

Last night was so hard. I couldn't shut my mind off and I barely got any sleep. To be in limbo is so hard. I know it's just a number, but it's such an important number and I pray my blood results on Thursday will show it has increased.  I can't help but think about the what ifs and worry. I want this to be our time more than anything and it's so scary to think as soon as you experience the joy you've been waiting for, for years it could be ripped away from you in an instant.  

I know regardless of the outcome on Thursday everything will be okay. I keep telling myself that. We have 5 frozen embryos waiting for us. Whether that be in the next month or in a few years.  We were blessed with 5 perfect embryos that made it to freezing and this isn't it.  

This is the farthest we have ever come to having our dream come true. I have no idea what to expect. I've never been pregnant before, I don't know what this is supposed to feel like or how my body will react. I'm trying to find peace in knowing that everything happens for a reason and to try and live in the moment..... 

Alissha